Nursing fits naturally into this bigger picture, even partial nursing in families where babies receive substantial nourishment from nonhuman milks. In addition to sucking dialing down baby’s stress levels, the hormones released during nursing make it easier for parents to get in sync with their baby. A US study used MRIs to examine brain activity in nursing and non-nursing mothers and found that nursing mothers showed greater activation of the brain regions associated with nurturing behaviors and empathy, as compared with the non-nursing mothers.[11] A Dutch study found a link between duration of nursing, responsiveness and more secure attachment. [12]
Origins of Conflicting Advice
If responsive parenting is so good for families, why do some authors and online resources recommend feeding schedules and caution parents against letting baby “use them as a pacifier” (for more on this click HERE). To put this advice in context, it may help to understand its origins.
A less responsive approach to parenting arose in the 1920s, when for the first time, male scientists began providing families with child-rearing guidance. Before this, parents turned mainly to their female family and friends for advice. These emerging experts drew from the science of behaviorism to promote unproven baby-care strategies known collectively as scientific mothering. This approach involved feeding babies (even newborns) on a strict 4-hour schedule. They cautioned parents to avoid holding their babies too much to prevent “spoiling.”[13] They advised parents to be unresponsive to their baby’s cries to prevent their babies from “manipulating” them, which they claimed would eventually result in less crying.
In the 100 years since scientific mothering first debuted, these strategies were studied and found both ineffective and potentially harmful. But over time, these ideas seeped into the Western cultural fabric. Some aspects of scientific mothering are still present today. Examples include the idea that schedules are good for babies (even though babies have no sense of time), that tiny babies can manipulate parents by crying (despite lacking the thought processes necessary to do so), that self-soothing needs to be taught (this occurs naturally as babies grow and develop), and that too much holding can “spoil” a baby (disproved in cultures where babies are routinely kept close).
When deciding on your own approach to baby care, keep in mind that today’s recommendations for cue-based care come from solid evidence. Research found years ago, for example, that when parents respond to their babies’ crying rather than ignoring it, this results in less crying over time, not more.[14]
The biggest downside of scientific-mothering is that rather than parent and child being on the same team, it puts parents and children in opposition to one another, encouraging parents to mistrust their child. If parents need to be on guard against their baby “using” or “manipulating” them, this can undermine their relationship with their baby and indeed their whole outlook on parenthood. Who needs this kind of negative attitude toward their baby? Even without it, early parenting is challenging enough.
Nursing Without Worry
Negative messages about creating “bad habits” by nursing on cue or comforting a baby with nursing are rooted in scientific mothering and have no basis in fact. There’s no doubt that caring for a newborn can sometimes feel overwhelming, and adopting a less-responsive approach may sometimes sound tempting. Peer support, especially during the first 6 weeks, helps many families navigate these challenges in a more positive way. (See my video account HERE of my rough evening of nonstop nursing during my oldest child’s intense first 40 days.)
But even when nursing and newborn care are stressful and exhausting, being responsive to your baby brings its own rewards. Many families find that nursing and cue-based care make life more rewarding for everyone. Those same hormones that help you get in sync with your baby can soothe and relax you during the rough times. While it sometimes feels as though babies will need this kind of nonstop day-and-night parenting forever, this intense need lasts only a very short time in what will be a long and loving relationship. Perhaps someday your children will even thank you for it, but probably not until they have children of their own.
References
1 Bergman, N. (2017). Breastfeeding and perinatal neuroscience. In C. W. Genna (Ed.), Supporting Sucking Skills in Breastfeeding Infants (3rd ed., pp. 49-63). Burlington, MA: Jones & Bartlett Learning.
2 AAP. (2012). Breastfeeding and the use of human milk. Pediatrics, 129(3), e827-e841.
3 Leclere, C., Viaux, S., Avril, M., et al. (2014). Why synchrony matters during mother-child interactions: A systematic review. PLoS One, 9(12), e113571.
4 Ball, H. L., Douglas, P. S., Kulasinghe, K., et al. (2018). The Possums Infant Sleep Program: Parents’ perspectives on a novel parent-infant sleep intervention in Australia. Sleep Health, 4(6), 519-526.
5 Moore, E. R., Bergman, N., Anderson, G. C., et al. (2016). Early skin-to-skin contact for mothers and their healthy newborn infants. Cochrane Database of Systematic Reviews, 11, CD003519.
6 Takahashi, Y., & Tamakoshi, K. (2018). The positive association between duration of skin-to-skin contact and blood glucose level in full-term infants. Journal of Perinatal & Neonatal Nursing, 32(4), 351-357.
7 Schore, A.N. (2001). The effect of early relational training on right-brain development, affect regulation, and infant mental health. Infant Mental Health Journal, 22(1-2), 201-269.
8 Evans, C. A., & Porter, C. L. (2009). The emergence of mother-infant co-regulation during the first year: Links to infants’ developmental status and attachment. Infant Behavior and Development, 32(2), 147-158.
9 Swain, J. E. (2011). Becoming a parent: Biobehavioral and brain science perspectives. Current Problems in Pediatric and Adolescent Health Care, 41(7), 192-196.
10 Baker, B., & McGrath, J. M. (2011). Maternal-infant synchrony: An integrated review of the literature. Neonatal Paediatric and Child Health Nursing, 14(3), 2-13.
11 Kim, P., Feldman, R., Mayes, L. C., et al. (2011). Breastfeeding, brain activation to own infant cry, and maternal sensitivity. Journal of Child Psychology and Psychiatry, 52(8), 907-915.
12 Tharner, A., Luijk, M. P., Raat, H., et al. (2012). Breastfeeding and its relation to maternal sensitivity and infant attachment. Journal of Developmental & Behavioral Pediatrics, 33(5), 396-404.
13 Watson, J.B. (1928). Psychological Care of the Infant and Child. W.W. Norton & Company: New York, NY.
14 Crockenberg, S. and McCluskey, K. (1986). Change in maternal behavior during the baby’s first year of life. Child Development, 57:746-753.
